FAIL

OK, so I suck at dieting. And blogging, apparently.

Nothing to report, really. No weight lost, since I've fallen off the excercise wagon. Does anyone have a reset button I could use? Because that's what I need right now.

Diet=fairly healthy. Oatmeal, chicken, salads, the occasional hamburger.

Sitting on my ass all day at the office=not helping.

Still looking for that reset button. I'll let you know.

weighing in: week 3

Last week's weight: 189.2 pounds
Today's weight: 187.4 pounds
Difference: -1.8 pounds (-2.8 pounds total)

Slow going, but I'm making progress! Whenever I'm discouraged by a small loss for the week, I ask myself how I'd feel if I'd gained the same amount instead. A loss is a loss, whether it's big or small. It took me 6 years to put the weight on, after all.

unexpecting

I had an ultrasound this morning. It was my first ultrasound experience, and I'm not sure what I was expecting, but I don't think it was this.

There I was on the exam table, my bladder uncomfortably full, goo on my belly, staring up at the monitor. I looked at the image, the same semicircular frame I'd seen so many times in friends' ultrasounds, always with a recognizable baby-part, or at least a notation of what you're looking at. Then it hit me, and I had to look away.

It was empty. No baby, no little beanlike shape to be pointed out with glee. I knew there wouldn't be; this was just a diagnostic ultrasound, a follow-up from my annual pelvic exam. I'm not pregnant, haven't been pregnant, and wasn't expecting to be. But to see it, to actually see my non-pregnant uterus in an image I associate with pregnancy, made me incredibly sad.

I hadn't expected sadness.

weighing in: week 2

Last week's weight: 187.8 pounds
Today's weight: 189.2 pounds
Difference: +1.4 pounds (-1.0 pounds total)

Not a good week. I didn't work out at all, but I was careful about what I ate. I could pull one of my old tricks and blame my period, but I know better.

Today. A new day, a new week. I've got a date with Jillian after work.

strengths and weaknesses

I start out every day with Great Intentions to eat well. During work hours, when I'm at the office with limited food choices, this is fairly easy. My breakfast is typically a bowl of oatmeal (I like the organic instant stuff from Costco--it comes in a variety pack and I actually like all the flavors) and a cup of coffee with sugar-free Coffee Mate. Around 11:00 I'll have a banana or a cup of yogurt. Lunch is almost always a frozen meal (Healthy Choice or something similar) and a diet soda. In the afternoon, I'll have a yogurt (if I had a banana in the morning) or a banana (if I had yogurt). My hunger is satisfied, I feel good about my food choices, and I start thinking this isn't so hard after all.

When I get home, however, it's a totally different story.

I get home an hour and a half before my husband. I use that time to work out, do a few chores, make dinner, and maybe catch up on a little TV. The problem is, by the time we sit down to eat together around 7:00, I'm ravenous. I'll eat way too much, way too fast, and I always feel awful afterward.

My goals this week: Have a snack after work so I'm not starving at dinner time. Make a conscious effort to control portions. If I do go back for seconds, it'll be vegetables. Drink more water, less soda.

weighing in: week 1

Starting weight: 190.2 pounds
Today's weight: 187.8 pounds
Difference: -2.4 pounds

And my husband commented that my tummy looks smaller. Yay!

20 minutes

Last week, I finally broke down and bought a copy of 30 Day Shred. For those of you who haven't heard of the phenomenon that is Jillian Michaels, 30 Day Shred is a series of 20-minute workouts that include strength, cardio and ab exercises. Each workout has a short warm-up, followed by three 6-minute circuits: 3 minutes of strength, 2 minutes of cardio, and 1 minute of abs. A brief cool-down wraps up the session. I've done the Level 1 workout three times so far, and I actually like it. Sure, I'm sweating and panting at the end, but it's 20 minutes. I can do 20 minutes, especially when it's broken down into itty-bitty increments. The exercises are simple (as in not complicated--you don't need a background in gymnastics to put the moves together) and the pace is quick but not rushed.

My results so far have been of the achy variety: sore arms, legs and abs when I get out of bed the next morning. It's a good pain, and I know it'll go away soon--hopefully taking some fat along with it.



You can find 30 Day Shred at Target, Amazon.com, or most other places workout DVDs are sold.